Delays....And Europe.

First, sorry for the delay in my posting. I have not been feeling well, and just couldn't think of what to write. However, the government kindly handed me a topic this evening. I am fuming and livid at this country and how screwed up it is. This was my initial stream of consciousness response to my anger of realizing that in order to pay off my $40k in student loans, I will end up paying $80k back to the government. I will perhaps form a more comprehensive, less colorful response once I locate a beer and my anxiety meds. No promises on less colorful though.

Ok, I am truly and completely pissed at America right now---you wonder why our generation is called the Lost Generation? Really?

I have one, of many, reasons for ya: Our federal student loans---to get a BACHELORS DEGREE---we ultimately have to pay back twice! Literally, just pulled up my student loan info because I am supposed to start paying it back soon---the interest I "will have payed" by 2039 is about 1k less than the actual loan amount. For a public, in-state school. A degree I don't--and CAN'T---use. And you wonder why we're not all married, homeowners with kids? We can't afford it. We are too busy paying back for a pretty sheet of paper from the god awful American education system to even THINK about owning a house or supporting a family.

How about instead of screwing all of us over by making us pay you back what you loaned us and then pay you that over again because you were just oh so helpful in the first place you really deserve a tip---how about you give us a reason to believe America is still the best country to live in. Where I stand, right now, I have an education I worked my ass off for, cannot find a job doing because I am not in the boy's club, and will pay for twice over to a government who is sitting on their ass.....oh, excuse me, they are standing...and stomping their feet and screaming "BUT MOM I WANT TO BE IN CHARGE!" and holding their breath until they get their way.

Fine, you got your way...fucking do something useful with it. Its called compromise, find your local 2 year old and ask them about it, I'm pretty sure it's like day 3 of preschool.

And while you're at it, get your head out of our country's uteruses and/or bedrooms and worry about, oh I don't know, national debt, health care, terrorism, poverty, homelessness....anything that is actually YOUR business.

I want to move to Europe. This country is outrageously screwed up. And no, I don't blame Republicans. Or Democrats. It's everyone's fault. We have let this go on. Until we start doing SOMETHING DIFFERENT we are all just stagnating, collectively until we fade out and die. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. --Einstein

So...are women the sex crazed ones now?

First, an update:
This past week...good lord has it been a long one. Broken cars, epidurals for my back, strange and awful muscle pain, family, work...I need a break!! I can't even read the books I have from the library...which is truly disappointing! I have been stuck between "Oh my god I have so much to do I can't handle it so I'll sleep" and running around like a squirrel on crack because I realize I still have to do all that stuff! It's been another rough one. Someone definitely put this roller coaster into overdrive and I'm gonna need them to locate the brakes!!!

One thing I have noticed is that other people's emotions (like the boyfriend, mom, sister, etc.) have a huge effect on where my own mental state is. Perhaps I let them, but that's another problem all to itself. If the people around me are anxious, I get anxious and sad and down the hill I go. Fortunately, new doctor is on the 26th and, God willing, we will be on the track to getting meds straightened out!!

And a random thought for you to consider:
Meanwhile, in the wider world, today is voting day! Better go vote...even if, I fear, the effect will be minimal at best.  I truly hope that someone gets in a position to make some major changes. Regardless of whether you are Democrat, Republican, or a flying purple people eater, I think we can all agree that there are a lot of things going on right now that need to be addressed with a realistic solution. I don't know that politicians are capable of realistic solutions, but one can hope, right?

Last, but most certainly not least, on to my main reason for this post:
One of my students recently introduced me to Spotify. And, yes, I felt extraordinarily old because I had only heard of it in passing, and still thought Pandora and Rhapsody were the only options for streaming music (which I do an unholy amount of while I'm driving across Indiana and Illinois to teach in east Egypt out there!!)

I promptly did a little research and fell in love with Spotify! By the way, if you've never used it, it's like Pandora + Rhapsody = Awesome^100 ...seriously...go...now...check it out!

Considering my blinding hatred for commercials and lack of decent local radio stations, I just hit a random list and started listening to whatever came on. It took me a couple days, but I noticed an interesting trend.

At least in the music I came across, it seems to me that men and women have sort of changed roles in the "who's more sex crazed and dominant" thing. I came across a lot of songs, some I liked some I could not stand, by female singers that were very liberated and sexually dominant. On the same note, I also found a lot of songs by male singers that were sensitive, touching, and crooning for the girl the love to come back and so on.

This led me to wonder if female entertainers are sort of speaking what most young women are feeling today--like we are being devalued, stripped of rights, suppressed. Maybe it's just a vast rebellion against all of the political and social issues circulating about women's rights at the moment. But maybe it's even bigger than that. Maybe there is a larger movement towards women asserting themselves and demanding to be the ones in control as a rebellion against how we have seen our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts act like they don't have feelings and take care of everyone but themselves.

I do come from the deep south originally...but if you ask me that any time other than now, I will vehemently deny any knowledge of such. I was raised with the typical deep south female mentality: take care of your man and keep your shit together no matter what. Literally, the last time my boyfriend and I went back home to see my family they immediately noticed he had lost quite a bit of weight, which is great right? He lost like 100 pounds because of how much working he has been doing. Instead of "Oh you look great, how'd you lose so much weight?"---all the women in the room immediately turned to me with this: "Have you been feeding him right? Are you cooking dinner? Why have you let that boy get so skinny?"

After I scraped my jaw up off the floor (though I'm not sure why I was surprised), I promptly began to tell everyone I did not let that boy do anything nor did I make him do anything. He's a grown man. Yes, I cook...sometimes....maybe.....ok not so much now as I used to but I'm in pain so bite me.  Honestly, the best way I can explain the "southern woman" manner/mindset to anyone not familiar is to tell you go look up Miranda Lambert's song "Mama's Broken Heart." The first time I heard that song, I almost cried laughing because it was like hearing my grandmothers words on the damn radio!

So this all brings me back to my point, maybe these songs about "Anacondas" (which I can't stand) and "Bang, Bang"-ing (which I like) are just examples of a bigger, subconscious push by my generation against all those things we have been told to do all our lives. We don't want to just give in anymore, we want the world and everything in it...just like any man does. Maybe it's all echoing that we feel like the only way to get respect and equality in everything is to show men we want, thinking about, and need sex as much, if not more than them. That if sex is how we get control, then sex it is!

Not only that, but it would seem that even our art is beginning to show this subtle shift in mindset. As the letter from my previous post mentioned, art is often a vehicle for change. Though what counts as art might be up to interpretation...I really, really hate that Anaconda song, it's just disgusting. 

And men's songs, maybe they're figuring out that the antiquated ideas of women being at the mercy of a man or sitting around hoping a suitor will come by is no longer a viable way to keep a woman in your life. I honestly think, men (certainly not all of them...stubborn asses) are maybe figuring out that expecting us to live with this double standard that seems to apply to more and more facets of life every day is not going to cut it and they better start sucking up now!!

That's right boys...start the worship now because at some point those tables are gonna turn and a whole bunch of you are gonna find out what crow tastes like! 

So..hey...like...girl power...and all!! Woo!

p.s But seriously, maybe let's cut back on the outright slutty stuff? If a man ever comes at me with an anaconda, snake or otherwise, I am running the hell away.

Here's to a better week!!

In Which We Save America?

So before I truly begin this post, you simply must go read the open letter I am using as a sort of jumping off point; jumping off with the most absolute reverence imaginable. Letter To The Millenials--Jonathan Taplin

I actually first ran across responses to this letter from both a Gen X and a Millenial whilst piddling around on LinkedIn. I, of course, had to go back and read everything in chronological order, but, at the end, it all struck a deep, resonant chord within me. I have been planning to write about this for weeks, but have just found the time and soundness of mind to do so.

Taplin's letter is to, what I believe is, a college level communications class. I can't be sure what level precisely, but I imagine we aren't exactly dealing with incoming freshmen. At any rate, the topics he brings up and the manner in which he sets forth his class opening are quite revolutionary for me, personally, to hear from a Baby Boomer (although it could be that I am just not exposed to the most forward minded of Boomers). 

I'll start with this quote:

The bottom line is that the world has come a long way, but from my perspective, we’re also living in uniquely worrisome times; my generation had dreams of how to make a better life that have remained woefully unfulfilled (leaving many of us cynical and disillusioned), but at the same time your generation has been saddled with the wreckage of our attempts and are now facing what may seem to be insurmountable odds. I’m writing this letter in the hopes that it will help set the stage for a truly cross-generational dialogue over the next sixteen weeks, in which I help you understand the contexts and choices that have brought us where we are today, and in which you help me, and one another, figure out the best way to move forward from here.

When I first read this, I was shocked. The Baby Boomers I come into contact with are sadly not interested in accepting anything but staunchly one-sided legislature and assuming that we Millennials are why the world is in the shape it is in today. There seems to be a lack of acceptance of responsibility by anyone at all, in fact. 

Professor Taplin goes on to explain that his generation was dealt not only great national tragedy through the assassination of their political heroes, but also that they turned away from politics to escape that pain. During this time, some of the best entertainment and art was produced, and it was also the top selling entertainment of the time. Whereas now, the most artistic and thoughtful works of art (be it music, visual, or any other form) are no longer mainstream. What is main stream are the mass produced pop and hip-hop performers who fade in and out of our lives rarely producing anything as memorable as the music that came about from the Boomers' time (which, honestly, a considerable number of us Millenials are turning back to). 

Side note: Some of the music I am currently catching dribbling out of my radio is a matter for another day though, but it is in my notes to discuss at some length.

Taplin also goes into how his generation also is experiencing extreme disappointment in how politics failed to actually improve the average American's life. The figures in his letter indicate that the median salary for the male worker has actually decreased since 1969! He makes so many excellent points that I could spend all day worshiping this piece of writing (one being that art could be a vehicle for bringing about change), but it ultimately leads into some of the same questions that I find myself (and my peers) worrying ourselves deeply over. More importantly, perhaps he offers the potential to finding the solutions to some of them as well.

As to those questions: Why is it that most Americans are stuck in middle class (if they have managed to even pull that off) while a tiny percentage own the vast majority of the wealth? Why has wealth become the tool with which government legislation happens? Why has our government become so obsessed with policing the entire world rather than policing our own policies? Why has our country become so divided along party lines that we are incapable of actually passing legislation? How are we, the Millennials who will be left with all of this, supposed to cope with and overcome the ever increasing pile of disasters on America and the world's plate?

I cannot possibly argue that there are not problems with my generation. We are certainly, at times, far too technology obsessed. We tend to be very focused on ourselves, our goals, and our comfort. However, there are enough of us conscious of the fact that the country is currently failing as a whole in terms of correctly serving the American public to begin to start trying to find a solution. However, none of us are in the boy's club (literally, often times) and, thus, we are met with condescension far too often when we try to enter into these conversations.

Every time even the notion of discussing politics comes up between myself and my parents, grandparents, etc it is met with a complete shut out. A total and utter refusal to even discuss the idea that maybe we could find some common ground. I am a liberal. I have betrayed my good ol' southern Baptist roots, and I (don't tell anybody at the church or, heaven forbid, my Grandmother just might be kicked out of potlucks) might almost be a democrat! 

It is time for this to stop. There should be no argument coming from anyone that any political parties are currently working as they should and for whom they should.

The Republicans have, of late, been adopting the 4-year old tantrum strategy. While this is very effective for some 4 YEAR OLDS, it is not an effective way to run a country. You lost the election...twice. Put on your big girl panties, deal with it, and do your job. You wonder why the Republicans are losing the younger voters? Women voters? It's because they are too busy worrying about stamping their feet and who is in who's vagina to actually do their job. So no, I don't want you deciding who is president next. 

If you don't like President Obama's policies and you think he is being a dictator, then stop sitting around with your fingers up your noses saying "I won't do anything if Obama likes it" and start coming up with suggestions that actually might work. You can just throw out the complete opposite of what Obama says either; that's no more helpful than flipping your boogers at him (which you must also really stop doing). There has to be some compromise between everyone.

The Democrats aren't much better either---they are just the older sibling that no one particularly likes. The Tattle-tale running about D.C. making sure everyone knows that the Republicans aren't doing anything, but what exactly are they doing? They can't get anyone to cooperate either. Maybe they are trying, but ultimately, they are failing. So I don't particularly want them deciding who is president next either. 

I honestly don't like much of anything going on in Washington because, so far as I can tell, nothing of any actual use is getting done BY ANYONE! So stop with the standing outside the post office saying "Impeach Obama," because unless you've something to show me that actually constitutes impeachment, you are part of the problem. 

All of America currently wants to stand around and point fingers at who screwed up. We all did---no one did----does it even matter who did?

Clearly the old boy's club model is not cutting it anymore. We need a new game plan. Everyone to the co-ed locker room, get the chalk, let's draw some stuff, see what we've got, and figure this pile of disasters out for God's sake!

The bigger question here is this: how do we fix it? The answer is right in Professor Taplin's letter to his class. We stop this feudal atmosphere between conservatives and liberals, parents and children, and we sit down together to talk about why these decisions were made to begin with. 

To our elders: What were you hoping for your/our future to look like? What legislation did you think was going to make that change? What aspect of our country failed to foster that change or fulfill its obligations to make that change? You are supposed to be the wiser, more experienced ones in this situation. Where do you see opportunities to make changes that might lead us closer to that goal?

And, Millenials, we should be asking of ourselves, what do we think our future should look like? How do we take apart the situation our country is currently in and tease it out into something manageable? Though, I doubt very seriously it will be done without the help of our parents and grandparents, so go on and suck that up here and now. What is it that we want for America? How can we correct short-comings of current and previous policies that contained, within them, great ideas, and make them modern, functioning, prosperous policies? 

And to everyone: How do we stop fighting with each other about our beliefs and get down to pulling this country back together? We don't really have a leg to stand on until we can at least all sit in a room together without trying to blow each other up over differences about abortion, gay marriage, birth control, and so on and so forth. If America, or the world for that matter, falls to pieces or we blow ourselves up we will have no social issues to fuss, fight, and kill over. Put it aside, there are bigger things afoot.

I would love nothing more than sit and have a chat with Professor Taplin. If for no other reason, than to witness an actual Boomer who is willing to not only share with me his perspective, but also listen to my perspective. To have someone to discuss these things with, and brainstorm ideas of how to  start the wheels of change moving not as separate generations, but as a united front of citizens with different experiences and beliefs who are all fighting for the same thing: the American dream--in whatever we, together, decide that will be.