In Which We Save America?

So before I truly begin this post, you simply must go read the open letter I am using as a sort of jumping off point; jumping off with the most absolute reverence imaginable. Letter To The Millenials--Jonathan Taplin

I actually first ran across responses to this letter from both a Gen X and a Millenial whilst piddling around on LinkedIn. I, of course, had to go back and read everything in chronological order, but, at the end, it all struck a deep, resonant chord within me. I have been planning to write about this for weeks, but have just found the time and soundness of mind to do so.

Taplin's letter is to, what I believe is, a college level communications class. I can't be sure what level precisely, but I imagine we aren't exactly dealing with incoming freshmen. At any rate, the topics he brings up and the manner in which he sets forth his class opening are quite revolutionary for me, personally, to hear from a Baby Boomer (although it could be that I am just not exposed to the most forward minded of Boomers). 

I'll start with this quote:

The bottom line is that the world has come a long way, but from my perspective, we’re also living in uniquely worrisome times; my generation had dreams of how to make a better life that have remained woefully unfulfilled (leaving many of us cynical and disillusioned), but at the same time your generation has been saddled with the wreckage of our attempts and are now facing what may seem to be insurmountable odds. I’m writing this letter in the hopes that it will help set the stage for a truly cross-generational dialogue over the next sixteen weeks, in which I help you understand the contexts and choices that have brought us where we are today, and in which you help me, and one another, figure out the best way to move forward from here.

When I first read this, I was shocked. The Baby Boomers I come into contact with are sadly not interested in accepting anything but staunchly one-sided legislature and assuming that we Millennials are why the world is in the shape it is in today. There seems to be a lack of acceptance of responsibility by anyone at all, in fact. 

Professor Taplin goes on to explain that his generation was dealt not only great national tragedy through the assassination of their political heroes, but also that they turned away from politics to escape that pain. During this time, some of the best entertainment and art was produced, and it was also the top selling entertainment of the time. Whereas now, the most artistic and thoughtful works of art (be it music, visual, or any other form) are no longer mainstream. What is main stream are the mass produced pop and hip-hop performers who fade in and out of our lives rarely producing anything as memorable as the music that came about from the Boomers' time (which, honestly, a considerable number of us Millenials are turning back to). 

Side note: Some of the music I am currently catching dribbling out of my radio is a matter for another day though, but it is in my notes to discuss at some length.

Taplin also goes into how his generation also is experiencing extreme disappointment in how politics failed to actually improve the average American's life. The figures in his letter indicate that the median salary for the male worker has actually decreased since 1969! He makes so many excellent points that I could spend all day worshiping this piece of writing (one being that art could be a vehicle for bringing about change), but it ultimately leads into some of the same questions that I find myself (and my peers) worrying ourselves deeply over. More importantly, perhaps he offers the potential to finding the solutions to some of them as well.

As to those questions: Why is it that most Americans are stuck in middle class (if they have managed to even pull that off) while a tiny percentage own the vast majority of the wealth? Why has wealth become the tool with which government legislation happens? Why has our government become so obsessed with policing the entire world rather than policing our own policies? Why has our country become so divided along party lines that we are incapable of actually passing legislation? How are we, the Millennials who will be left with all of this, supposed to cope with and overcome the ever increasing pile of disasters on America and the world's plate?

I cannot possibly argue that there are not problems with my generation. We are certainly, at times, far too technology obsessed. We tend to be very focused on ourselves, our goals, and our comfort. However, there are enough of us conscious of the fact that the country is currently failing as a whole in terms of correctly serving the American public to begin to start trying to find a solution. However, none of us are in the boy's club (literally, often times) and, thus, we are met with condescension far too often when we try to enter into these conversations.

Every time even the notion of discussing politics comes up between myself and my parents, grandparents, etc it is met with a complete shut out. A total and utter refusal to even discuss the idea that maybe we could find some common ground. I am a liberal. I have betrayed my good ol' southern Baptist roots, and I (don't tell anybody at the church or, heaven forbid, my Grandmother just might be kicked out of potlucks) might almost be a democrat! 

It is time for this to stop. There should be no argument coming from anyone that any political parties are currently working as they should and for whom they should.

The Republicans have, of late, been adopting the 4-year old tantrum strategy. While this is very effective for some 4 YEAR OLDS, it is not an effective way to run a country. You lost the election...twice. Put on your big girl panties, deal with it, and do your job. You wonder why the Republicans are losing the younger voters? Women voters? It's because they are too busy worrying about stamping their feet and who is in who's vagina to actually do their job. So no, I don't want you deciding who is president next. 

If you don't like President Obama's policies and you think he is being a dictator, then stop sitting around with your fingers up your noses saying "I won't do anything if Obama likes it" and start coming up with suggestions that actually might work. You can just throw out the complete opposite of what Obama says either; that's no more helpful than flipping your boogers at him (which you must also really stop doing). There has to be some compromise between everyone.

The Democrats aren't much better either---they are just the older sibling that no one particularly likes. The Tattle-tale running about D.C. making sure everyone knows that the Republicans aren't doing anything, but what exactly are they doing? They can't get anyone to cooperate either. Maybe they are trying, but ultimately, they are failing. So I don't particularly want them deciding who is president next either. 

I honestly don't like much of anything going on in Washington because, so far as I can tell, nothing of any actual use is getting done BY ANYONE! So stop with the standing outside the post office saying "Impeach Obama," because unless you've something to show me that actually constitutes impeachment, you are part of the problem. 

All of America currently wants to stand around and point fingers at who screwed up. We all did---no one did----does it even matter who did?

Clearly the old boy's club model is not cutting it anymore. We need a new game plan. Everyone to the co-ed locker room, get the chalk, let's draw some stuff, see what we've got, and figure this pile of disasters out for God's sake!

The bigger question here is this: how do we fix it? The answer is right in Professor Taplin's letter to his class. We stop this feudal atmosphere between conservatives and liberals, parents and children, and we sit down together to talk about why these decisions were made to begin with. 

To our elders: What were you hoping for your/our future to look like? What legislation did you think was going to make that change? What aspect of our country failed to foster that change or fulfill its obligations to make that change? You are supposed to be the wiser, more experienced ones in this situation. Where do you see opportunities to make changes that might lead us closer to that goal?

And, Millenials, we should be asking of ourselves, what do we think our future should look like? How do we take apart the situation our country is currently in and tease it out into something manageable? Though, I doubt very seriously it will be done without the help of our parents and grandparents, so go on and suck that up here and now. What is it that we want for America? How can we correct short-comings of current and previous policies that contained, within them, great ideas, and make them modern, functioning, prosperous policies? 

And to everyone: How do we stop fighting with each other about our beliefs and get down to pulling this country back together? We don't really have a leg to stand on until we can at least all sit in a room together without trying to blow each other up over differences about abortion, gay marriage, birth control, and so on and so forth. If America, or the world for that matter, falls to pieces or we blow ourselves up we will have no social issues to fuss, fight, and kill over. Put it aside, there are bigger things afoot.

I would love nothing more than sit and have a chat with Professor Taplin. If for no other reason, than to witness an actual Boomer who is willing to not only share with me his perspective, but also listen to my perspective. To have someone to discuss these things with, and brainstorm ideas of how to  start the wheels of change moving not as separate generations, but as a united front of citizens with different experiences and beliefs who are all fighting for the same thing: the American dream--in whatever we, together, decide that will be.

A Rough Week

I had a plan. An interesting discussion I wanted to start with anyone who might stumble upon my blog and, hopefully, soon to be regular readers. However, as sometimes happens with my brain, the past week got a bit derailed, and nothing quite went according to plan. By Sunday, I was struggling somewhere between complete devastation, fighting hysterical tears and a strange hybrid of abstract, yet somewhat rational, inexplicable anger.

Stop here and take a second out of your day---as though you weren't already---but try to get in my head for a minute here. Imagine the best day you can think of in your entire life thus far. Remember how you felt in that day, physically and emotionally, whatever it was. Proud, invincible, accomplished, worthy, strong...remember all of those feelings and soak them in for a minute.

Now, imagine the worst day you have ever had. I am talking the absolute lowest of the low; the point at which you were more miserable than you have ever been. And do the same thing, remember all the associated feelings, physical and emotional, that were associated with that day. Now soak those in for a moment.

To begin to understand this ridiculous, shattered thing I manage to call a life, you have to imagine that for some reason your brain magnified all of those emotions ten-fold, and that every day you woke up to one or both of those two options. There is not really any shade of grey. When you roll out of bed you are either the best you could ever possibly feel or the worst you can possibly imagine. To top that off, it can change with no warning---instantly or over time (an hour, a week, a month). For me, I never know how I will wake up, and I rarely stay in one mood for an entire day.

Now that you have a sort of understanding of the extreme range of emotions I am talking about, let me continue:

As I said, Two versions of me exist: the energetic, life-loving, speed demon, no one can stop me, I am confident and happy with my decisions, life is awesome me or crushing sadness and exhaustion, every part of me is physically in pain, self-deprecating, devaluing my every choice, inevitable failure, please let me wreck my car so life has to come to a screeching halt so I can catch up me.

Mind you, these two versions of me are not exactly friendly neighbors either. They loathe each other. Each hates the other. When manic, I tend to hate myself for being impulsive, envy myself for being able to sleep when I'm not manic. When depressed, I not only hate myself for being depressed, making choices that I have made (and know have made me happy), not being as successful or perfect as I thought I should be at 26, but also I hate other people for being happy.

So that's where I have been this past week. Primarily as the angry, hateful version of me---and she doesn't write a lot, but has a lot of ideas (which have been noted and will be fully explored at a later, more upbeat date :-P) . As I fumbled through my week, I had an encounter with someone who, albeit intoxicated and perhaps not to blame, said something to me that was very upsetting. Sadly, they were not the first to say this to me either; the first person to say it wasn't intoxicated either, so I'm not sure what her excuse was. Both of these people said, almost verbatim, "What are you depressed about? You have no reason to be depressed or suicidal. Your life could be so much worse."

I will never claim that I am not aware, even in my current state of crushing but functioning depression, that my life could not possibly be worse--it could. I could have been abused as a child. I could be addicted to drugs. I could have cancer. And so on and so forth. Yes, my life could be worse. I know this; even in my worst moments, when I want to be dead, I know that other people's lives are harder than mine and, perhaps, more worthy of misery (although no one deserves misery.)

What hurt me though is that these individuals felt like it was their place to judge my internal struggle, but even more so that they misunderstand mental illness in such a dire manner. Far too many people have no idea that depression/bipolar is not something I chose and not something I have any power to control. It is not just a phase, being upset, or anything that I can even define most days. I go to therapy. I take my meds exactly like I am told to. I do everything right. I always have---I've done everything "right" in fact, but here I stand...broken. Believe me, if I had any choice in the matter at all, I would not choose this for my absolute worst enemy.

More often than not, I do not know why I am depressed nor why I am so happy. The alternative to this is that there are so many things in my head that I can't even define one thing making me feel so awful or so amazing. I do not need a reason though. The reason I am depressed is because I (likely) have a genetic predisposition to a disease that affects the balance of chemicals in my brain. The imbalance of these chemicals causes my moods to shift from one extreme to another for NO REASON other than biology.

I write all this to pose a question: is part of the stigma associate with mental illness (particularly depression, bipolar, suicide attempts/thoughts) in the public due to such a ghastly misunderstanding of what these diseases are? Is the general public so misinformed as to think that you MUST have a reason that you can pinpoint to be depressed? More importantly, how do we raise awareness about this as something that we cannot control, but are not any less able adults than anyone else?

And for the record: it is never anyone's place to assume that we know enough about another person to know whether or not they are suffering nor what they might be suffering from. It is likely that even the person you are closest to suffers to some degree for some reason. To come up to someone whose story you have not even tried to begin to know or understand and tell them "You have no reason to be depressed"---well, as Meghan Trainor says in a song I heard the other day---"consider this an invitation and kiss my ass goodbye!"

I Am...

As I set out on a blogging adventure to not only share my opinions, concerns, and musings about the world around me, but also how the constant struggle of bipolar disorder affects my view of that world, I thought I should let my readers know who I am exactly. No, not in a life story sort of way. More in a, here's where I'm coming from kind of way such that there is less explaining on a future, perhaps I'm not feeling so talkative, day sort of way. So here goes nothing....

I am a teacher by profession. A scientist by education. A napper and dog-lover by choice. Bipolar by chance (or genetics...depending on how you look at it). Interesting combination, no? Somehow, miraculously, I manage to make all of those insanely different things work together most days.

To get it out of the way now: I am a believer....of many things. I believe in religion, in many forms. I believe that the vast majority of the world's people operate under the same general principles, and organized religion simply gives them a name. Whether you call it Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Agnostic, or Purple Fuzzy Bunnyism---"a rose by any other name---" so to speak. Most people believe that if you are a good person, you are rewarded for that in some way. Personally, I identify as a Christian. By this, I mean that I choose to believe that the "something" bigger than me in this world is God and the reward for being a good person is called Heaven.That said, I do not condemn any religion that follows the basic and commonly accepted human morals (i.e don't kill, steal, rape, etc). In general, I try not to condemn anyone, rather I choose to believe that individuals who resort to violence, in the name of their god or any other reason, either suffer from some sort of psychosis or have been convinced (by someone or something) that they are doing so in defense of life, liberty, or freedom (i.e reactive violence). I am however human, and reserve the right to call someone a blubbering idiot if the mood strikes me. So there's that.

I am a supporter...of even more things. I support the pro-choice movement. I support women's rights (which is fortunate since, and partly because, I am a woman). I support LGBT rights, same sex marriage, universal health care, welfare, giving to those who are in need (even when you, yourself, are in need) and so on and so forth.Overall, all of these beliefs are based on my belief in Christianity. And yes, I just heard your jaw hit the floor; it sounded painful. Do go get that checked out....I'll wait....




Ok, so that was a lie. I'm not waiting, but this will still be here when you get back :)

I digress...The God that I believe in never forces us to do anything and does not make mistakes (nature does not make mistakes, everything occurs for a reason), we have free will. We have ultimate control over how to live our lives in pursuit of happiness, and it is neither my nor anyone's place to judge anyone's choices but my own. God also gives each of us trials that we must overcome. Those trials may be difficult relationships, physical illness, mental illness, homosexuality (hang in there with me on this, it's not what you think I mean), social anxiety, dyslexia, and the list goes on and on. I call these trials not because they are negative things, diseases, or the like. These trials are meant for us to overcome in order to make us stronger; to make us the person we are meant to be and that the universe needs us to be. For example, one of my personal trials is to overcome, or at least manage, my struggle with bipolar disorder. It is a constant battle, but it makes me a stronger person every day. Homosexuality is a constant battle as well, but not with yourself. It is a constant battle with society and people who just refuse to accept you as you were created. I say homosexuality is a trial, not because anything is wrong with that person, but because anyone who is homosexual (or in the LGBT community in any form) is in constant struggle for acceptance and equality in the community and become stronger individuals by overcoming this opposition and hate.


So now that my general opinions on the bigger issues at hand are flat out on the table, welcome to my shattered brilliance. I have no exact plan on what I will post from week to week. It may be something I see in the news that I have a particular opinion about or am concerned about; it may be an interesting science article I read. Who knows?...But, I hope you will join me on this journey to explore how my illness affects my world view, have fun, and above all discuss whatever topic comes up or strikes our fancy!! I do have something interesting in mind for next week though...dun dun dun.......*fade to black*

In Progress!

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